Here’s how it works.

As you’re sitting by the river worrying about your husband contracting swine flu and your daughter throwing such horrible fits that you’re thinking about taking her to a baby shrink, your son comes barreling down the hill and jumps over the top of a coiled copperhead, which does not strike him.

Your son, who wasn’t among the second graders receiving Jesus at first communion today because your family is the only non-Catholic one in the bunch, who rebels against going to Sunday school and won’t touch his Bible, tells you that God protected him from the snake.

So here’s some news for you. If you think things are out of your control, you’re right. If you think no one is in control, you’re wrong.

It’s just not you.