The Power of Negative Thinking
If you ask Sicilians “How are you?” they don’t answer “Fine, and how are you?” They say “cosi cosi,” which means so-so. Or “I’ve seen better times.” They think it’s bad luck to wish someone good luck.
So it is that I am genetically predisposed to negative thinking. It’s deep in my gene pool. And with negative thinking comes two corollary afflictions — worry and anxiety. I suffer from “worst case scenario” thinking. This would be very helpful if I worked for the Department of Homeland Security. It is not helpful whatsoever in motherhood.
I have tried many techniques to avoid negative thinking and was very heartened this week to read an article in Time Magazine saying that a lot of those techniques just don’t work. I could have told them that. For instance, the technique of trying to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts only makes people feel worse, the magazine reported. Well, duh. We don’t believe the positive thoughts. We know better. And it totally invalidates our feelings to say, “Turn that frown upside down, Missy.”
The magazine went on to report that meditation seems to work with negative thinking. Again, had they bothered to interview me, I could tell them why. I am an expert in this subject. You see, I come from a long, long line of negative thinkers. I believe that while the ancient Greeks had an Olympics to display their athletic prowess, the ancient Sicilians had an Olympics of Worry. My relatives, I surmise, must have been gold medalists in this field. Because their worry genes are so strong, they dominate me and my family to this day. By the way, this gene presents itself best on the Y chromosome.
To continue, the reason meditation works with negative thinking is that negative thinking/worry/anxiety stems from projecting your mind into the future and deciding that whatever happens next is going to be so horrible that you just can’t handle it. So meditation works because it brings you into the present moment, a time in which everything seems pretty much okay. Meditation reminds you to take a deep breath and be still.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Isn’t that much better than “Turn that frown upside down?”
Posted: July 10th, 2009 under Family, Sicilian Mojo.
Comments & Backsass
Comment from Janet
Time July 11, 2009 at 8:12 am
It might be true in some cases that “…the technique of trying to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts only makes people feel worse,” but there is an overwhelming amount of social science research that most people can learn to be more optimistic and positive and that doing so confers tremendous mental and physical health benefits. I suspect that the effectiveness has to do with the amount of the gap between what people believe and the new positive thought to which they are introduced. The difference has to be believable. So if you are thinking, “I’m in a terrible mood and I will always be depressed and miserable,” the newer thought needs to be something like, “I’m in a terrible mood right now but I’ve been in a good mood in the past and I’ll have good moments again.” There is just too much evidence in favor of Positive Psychology (Seligman, Diener, Lyubomirsky, Emmons, etc.) to discount it completely. That being said, meditation also has a strong track record of effectiveness and works well, too. The key is to find the right mix for any particular individual…I guess this is a book length post…sorry about that…this topic is a strong interest of mine.
Comment from Mary Hardie
Time July 14, 2009 at 7:01 am
“Worst case scenario” thinking — me, too! I knew it — we ARE related! No Sicilian in my background, tho — Brit/Irish mostly.
Comment from Little Brother
Time July 30, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Is it in the genes or is it more a case of “Dago see, dago do”? Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Comment from Beverly
Time July 10, 2009 at 11:33 am
Funny – my German husband has that same gene. I, on the other hand, counteract his negativity and pessimism with my positive thinking. Must be the French/English gene there. After all – wine and a good batch of fish and chips can always make things better!