Thank God I’m not single. I’m a lousy date. I cannot eat spicy food, polish off half a bottle of wine and stay up past 10 p.m. Men are generally not attracted to someone who pops Gas-X pills at the table and falls asleep in the car on the way home. It takes a husband to extend you that much of a benefit of the doubt.

There’s not much to do on a date night around here except go out to eat. I have a great business idea for a budding entrepreneur in Sugar Land — a one-hour hotel geared for parents with young children. I’m sure there are one-hour hotels in Houston, probably along Telephone Road, but I’m not willing to take my life in my hands for a little nooky. It would all need to be legal, clean, safe and not embarrassing. I’m thinking of a wholesome, upscale kind of place like Lifetime Fitness. No gangstas, no pimps and especially no hoes. It could be called The Ultimate Date Night.

Of course there are regular hotel rooms you can rent, but it’s hard to get a babysitter who can stay all night. Plus, it’s expensive. The Ultimate Date Night would be more affordable, say $25 an hour. That’s the price of two deluxe dinners at our favorite Thai restaurant, the price of one at our favorite Italian place. You’d get a bed, a hot-tub and dessert brought to your room. You can pick up a big Mac on the way home.

I think this is the perfect business concept for these harried, time-strapped, money-crunched times. I’ve already got the marketing plan for it worked out in my head. The advertising campaign would be flyers plastered in daycares and sent home in backpacks, with coupons attached.