The other night we were watching TV on the couch, switching channels between America’s Funniest Home Videos and Jeff Foxworthy on Comedy Central.

“Mommy, what’s a redneck?” Girl asks me, after Jeff Foxworthy has used the term for the 20th time.

“Uh, I guess, uh, it’s a not nice word for poor people. Don’t call anybody that,” I say lamely.

Tonight, I have a better explanation for her, delivered in Foxworthy style:

- You might be a redneck if you sneak out to the fireworks stand when your wife and children are out shopping and come home with this:

- You might be a redneck if you buy this just because of its name: The Junior Redneck Party Pack

- You might be a redneck if you shoot it off the day after the Fourth of July, just for the hell of it

- You might be a redneck if you can’t even wait til it’s dark to shoot it off on the Fifth of July, just for the hell of it

- And, you might be a redneck if your very favorite rocket in the whole Junior Redneck Party Pack is named “Butt Ugly.”