“This is NASA technology; they developed this for astronauts,” the cute 20-something trainer boy tells me, a claim that’s guaranteed to make me skeptical. I never really liked TANG.

The jiggle machine is actually a Whole Body Vibration machine. It looks a lot like a stair machine with fewer moving parts. You stand on a platform and it jiggles. Very fast. That’s it. That’s the whole workout. You do this for 10 minutes and it’s supposed to be the equivalent of a one-hour workout. That’s what the fire-engine red brochure says, anyway. It also says, in bright yellow capital letters, “SHAKE YOUR WAY TO GOOD HEALTH!”

Why am I doing this? It’s a one-hour workout in 10 minutes, that’s why! I don’t have to change clothes. I don’t even have to change shoes. I just have to pay $3, step on the platform, hang on and jiggle.

The jiggle machines are in a tiny storefront near a hotel on the long walk through the tunnels from the parking garage to the office. My co-workers discovered it first – today I went along to see if it was worth $3. In downtown Houston, nothing costs $3 except a tall Chai latte and a ride on the jiggle machine. So I tried it, and I have to say, I feel like a had a 1-hour workout. Which is to say, sleepy and sore.

As I was standing there jiggling, I had a flashback of my mom going to Pat Walker’s Figure Salon back in the 1970s, and telling me how great it was to lie on a machine and have it do all the work for you. At the time, I may have sniggered or even made a smart-assed remark. As I have pointed out several times on this blog, paybacks are, in fact, hell, so I fully expect some backsass about this.

Yes, I have reached the age where passive exercise sounds like a great idea. Yesterday I asked Bob to take a new photo of me for LinkedIn — I wanted to show off my nerdy girl Tina Fey glasses, but they only magnified the crow’s feet and made my nose look like a schnozola. And now it’s come to this. Jiggling.