Note to male readers: Guys, don’t even bother reading this one.

I love my everyday purse – a shiny black vinyl bag with a wide silver buckle — but today I want to throw it away. My friend just sent me an e-mail circulating across the web, explaining that purses are the nastiest things since portapotties.

The e-mail points out that we women tend to put our purses everywhere – on the floors of public restrooms and movie theaters, on countertops and tables. In other words, our adorable Coach and Gucci handbags are festering piles of bacteria, and we’re setting them where we eat.

I’m grossed out by the thought of where my purse goes the minute I get home everyday – on top of the kitchen table. I’m not doing that anymore. That purse is going on the floor, next to my flung-off shoes. Luckily I can slather my purse with hand sanitizer and it won’t get ruined – that’s the value of carrying a cheap bag.

My purse is a bit heavy, though, and that’s another problem. Oversized handbags are killing women’s backs and shoulders. In fact, big-bag syndrome is sending a lot of women into physical therapy.

So what’s the perfect handbag? I’m thinking maybe it’s a plastic grocery bag. It’s already trash, so you won’t be tempted to put it where it shouldn’t go. And it’s lightweight so it won’t kill your shoulders. Plus it’s economicial, costing about $350 less than a Coach, roughly $1,500 less than a Gucci.

Most women are afraid of becoming bag ladies. I say, let’s just embrace it.