Bless me Father for I have sinned, I cast the evil eye on my husband. Actually I tried to bore a hole into his forehead from across the dinner table. And just before supper I gave my daughter the bad eye so hard that she started crying, “Stop staring at me like that! You’re scaring me!” and my husband came out of the bathroom and started yelling at my son because he just assumed that Boy was the one making her cry.

Such was the lovely evening at home last night. I’m still feeling the aftershocks of a foul mood this morning, trying to figure out what set me off in the first place so I can avoid that trap in the future.

My family knows I’m susceptible to guilt trips so they’re continuously colluding with each other to send me on one. Boy wanted me to play hide-and-seek. Girl wanted me to color with her. Husband needed to talk about SOMETHING IMPORTANT. Boy won. He’s been sick and I still feel the pangs of that fear. Plus he had a bad day at school. So happy Boy, pissed off Husband, hissy fit Girl. Thus my stare down at the dinner table last night.

How could I have stepped over that trap? Thought about locking myself in my room and making everyone upset. Seemed too passive aggressive. Casting the evil eye felt better. But it only works if someone notices you doing it and is freaked out by it.

Once my husband told me that my anger is so strong it could bend spoons. I’m proud of that. I come from a long line of angry women, stretching back to Sicily. I’m certain that way back in my family tree there was a woman who could kill with her eyes. I don’t actually want to do that, but I would like to be able to singe with my eyes. Just a little.

Like a slight electric shock. Zzzzzzzzzzt.